This month marks the one year anniversary of the prayer issue. Looking back, I’m utterly amazed by all that has happened and how much my life has changed.
I can remember a time when I was the shyest girl in school, completely unnoticed by anyone besides my few friends. When all of this started, everything changed. I went from being afraid to even tell people I was an atheist to saying it on national television. And, despite being incredibly shy, I find myself surrounded by attention at school… the negative kind. But most of the change is for the better. I’ve become more comfortable with myself as a result. I’ve met people more like me, with similar interests and ideals. I no longer have to hide my geekiness! (Doctor Who and superheroes <3) I’ve also discovered my voice and my passion.
And of course, one of the biggest changes from the beginning of it all to now is the support that has been gained for our side. I really don’t know how to thank people enough for everything they have done.
Perhaps one of my most life-changing experiences was shortly after the meeting in November when I went on Facebook and found a friend request from JT Eberhard. I asked who he was, and he explained that he worked for the Secular Student Alliance, “an international advocacy group that helps secular students and their groups.” These words were completely new to me in such a context. It was the first time I had heard anything about “groups” and helping “secular students.” Until this point in my life, I had no idea that there were others like my small crowd of atheist friends and family. I had thought we were entirely alone and that there was really no one else out there who felt the same. When JT messaged me that day, I learned that there was an entire community of real people with the same type of mindset that I had. Another time JT said “everything I do is useless without you guys being activists.” I think that might have been the very first time anyone said anything to me about activism. I certainly had never considered myself an activist, or anything I was doing to be such. I had gone so long with the impression that atheists were so hated, and so few, that there was no point in even looking for others. This changed my entire world.
After that day I had more energy, more courage, and even determination. At those awful meetings and at school each day I would just keep in mind that there were so many others out there who encouraged what I was doing. That was really all I needed. I had the best friends in the world and an awesome group of activists supporting me. Again, life-changing is the only way to describe it.
Everyone came together to give me support when I needed it the most. I got hundreds of new members joining the Facebook group I had created and countless supportive messages. I couldn’t have asked for more help and more love.
But I’m the lucky one.
Remembering my life and how I felt before the prayer issue worries me. It makes me consider the others out there who don’t believe in God, but aren’t lucky enough to have found the same community that I have. I think that there are probably many, many, many more secular students, but they are too afraid to speak out. Specifically high school students. I know that when you think of high school kids you usually shiver with disgust and want to smack them every time they open their mouths. And yes, I know that most are completely uninterested in anything besides popularity, food, and the opposite sex. But I happen to know plenty of smart, atheist students who could speak up if given the chance.
Like what JT said, the SSA is trying to help these teens. Unfortunately though, it is very hard to FIND them when they are intentionally hiding their non-belief. It seems like an impossible mission, but there are definitely things we can do to help and support them. We can start by telling the world we exist and making sure that we are easy to contact. We also need to be patient and understanding. Let’s not forget that most high school students are minors and risk losing everything they have.
Let me know if you have any good ideas as to how we can reach out and support them in coming out, starting groups, and using their voices.
Great post Jess. I really share your enthusiasm for the community/family aspect of our movement. It’s the same aspect that keeps most people in religion, and keeps them from leaving. In fact, it attracts many people to a religious community and helps them organize (sometimes even doing good things).
And so, finding a safe secular community to take you in can be wonderful. It makes our efforts that much more effective, and also serves its own purpose of brightening the lives of many people who are often lonely.
I don’t have any expert high school experience to offer, but I can say that letting the social/community aspect and the intellectual/activist aspect overlap is a good thing. Use your social contacts to find people and to approach them through other friends. That can make people easier to crack.
Anyway, you can always call, and I’ll at least be able to sympathise
I enjoyed reading that.
The pleasure has been all mine Jess. You have made me so proud and you continue to impress.
*hug*
JT
‘Horton hears a who’… is the proclamation from a man who did not like children. It is the story of anyone who feels alone and that they have no voice.
The lesson to be learned is that we all have a voice, and no matter how small or quiet, it counts. If you can find a way to encourage others to speak, even in small ways, it changes the world. A person is a person after all, no matter how small. I try this in everyday conversations by interjecting that I don’t think god had anything to do with that – whatever the that is being talked about. To those that can’t imagine the universe not being designed, I ask what does an un-designed universe look like?
When we stop people from using their god in normal conversation it does change the world. No matter how small that change might be.
Billboards are great for helping people understand that there are others like them. It will do nothing until it is common for people to correct common speech so that it does not grant credit to imaginary beings. Even TGIF is wrong.TFIF is more appropriate, all things considered.
I say encourage people to explain how their god did this or that etc. and how their own efforts didn’t create the goodness they credit their god with. Call them out on every opportunity. They can’t explain it and it puts them on the spot to do so. Combative? Perhaps, but it also makes them think about casually crediting a deity for normal stuff. Also ask them to explain why god saved one person from a plane crash but killed 300+ others.
When such questioning becomes commonplace it will be much easier to be a non-believer. Such changes happen with a small start and snowball. In the same way that ‘dude’ became popular these questions can be common place. It simply requires that people start questioning aloud and that they do not stop doing so.
Although I didn’t come to the realization that I don’t believe in the existence of any gods until much later in life than you, I’ve found that some of the problems continue. For example, I really can’t be “myself” with several family members. However, you mentioned Facebook, and that has helped me so much. I found a rather large community of like-minded individuals, and I’ve learned a lot from their posts (things that help me when I discuss atheism with others), as well as felt a sense of community and support.
For students who are worried about “coming out” right away in public, websites, online forums, and Facebook groups can be a way to ease into it. As your friend JT helped and encouraged you, I know for a fact that there are many of us on Facebook who would help and encourage others.
As you know (probably all too well!), high school is to a large extent all about conformity. It can be difficult for any student to speak out and show themselves to be “different” from such a majority of others. It seems that atheism garners as much derision as anything. Getting the word out to students about the SSA and online resources would, in my opinion, go a long way towards helping them know that they are not alone.
Keep up the good fight!
Beth
Thanks for the great article of reason. I am glad you have been able to speak loudly and proudly of who you are and what you believe. Your voice will lend courage to those that follow.
You are clearly a bright young woman in posession of a level of maturity and composure beyond your years. I expect you have a bright future ahead of you.
The fact that got my attention was the Doctor Who reference. Now THAT’S cool! I’m a big fan of The Doctor- as are my wife and 3 kids. I’ve promised my 13-year-old that we’ll build a TARDIS door for her bedroom. While you’re at it, check out some of the other BBC content, including Coupling, Torchwood, Gavin & Stacey, Being Human and Doc Martin.
Cheers!
Hats off to you, Jessica.
I’m twice your age, and I can’t imagine how challenging this experience has been for you.
Thanks so much for making a difference. Your fellow atheists salute you.
Jessica – I graduated from high school this year. I was lucky enough to attend a diverse and accepting school, so I can’t claim to have much perspective on what you went through – but I’m so proud of you and all the other people of my generation who have found the courage to take a stand against bigotry and injustice. I wish you success in your remaining years of high school, and I hope the support of the freethinking world continues to help offset the bigotry in your community.
I’m also a huge fan of Doctor Who – watching an episode or two always cheers me up. Looking forward to new episodes, just a month to go!
Dr. Who and superheroes? Heck, you can be my friend any day.
- Sinfanti
Jessica,
I’m 44 and have two daughters, now aged 8 and 10, and I truly hope that they grow up to be as intelligent and determined as you. I’m also an atheist and am doing my best to encourage my daughters to be curious and critical thinkers. Young people like you inspire me to keep doing that. You are truly an inspiration — keep up the good work.
I tip my hat to you. I admire your ability to stand strong in the face of such opposition.
Jessica –
Just wanted to say that you have more gumption, self confidence, and poise than most adults. I am a mom of young kids and I hope that I successfully encourage them as they grow to be freethinkers and to speak their minds in productive ways. Like a previous poster said – “Young people like you inspire me to keep doing that.”
We stand by you!
Great speech at the convention! I’d like to follow the lawsuit – I just sent a friend request on Facebook (Tom Roche), is that the best place to get updates?
Ms. Ahlquist, thank you for your courageous stand, and may God bless and keep you. Yes, I’m a “deist” or a “theist”, but we are not all alike, any more than atheists are all alike. I don’t belong to any religious group, not even that of the Flying Spaghetti Monster — I presume you’ve Googled that. I can’t go for a god who would slaughter the first-born children of folks who disagreed with him…such a god is a major jerk, and I want nothing to do with such an entity. If I must wear a label, call me an “Amiable Skeptic”.
I have a daughter near thrice your age, and courageous in her own way. You do all us fathers proud. Keep up the good work. There’s a motto in Fractured Latin: “Illegitemati non te carborundum” meaning, “Don’t let the b_stards grind you down”.
I wanted to tell you how brave and admirable I find what you are doing to be. Don’t let the ignorance of others berate you. You know you are doing the right thing, and there are those of us that, even though we’re on the other side of the country, support your cause completely. You’re a becon of courage for our wayward generation. Stay strong!
Don’t you think you are doing all this for publicity?
Seriously?
I’m so impressed with you… as a mom of a 15-yr-old atheist (I’m agnostic), I’m so happy to see others be able to share their beliefs regardless of what others may say/feel. I’m looking forward to my son reading your blog! Thank you!!
I disagree with Jessica’s stance. I believe everyone has a right to express their opinions and have a voice. I understand and respect Jessica’s anxiety over the prayer mural, I also understand and respect her wish for it to be removed. However, we must understand that in order to promote true tolerance, EVERYONE should be heard, not just the side of the atheists. I believe there’s a place for everything, and perhaps a good alternative to having it completely removed is to have it relocated to a place where student’s who want to practice their faith or simply be reminded of a positive and uplifting message can go and see it. It doesn’t have to be out in the open. It can be in a corner somewhere, or at the far end of the football field (if your school has one). But I don’t believe shutting out an entire group of people is true tolerance. Give them an opportunity to be true to themselves as well. No, I’m not a practicing Christian, but I do understand how important it is to them to believe in a God. And to tell them that there’s no place for their faith, I believe, is unfair and wrong.
Just as it is unfair and wrong for you to have no safe place to share your opinions or to be free from tyranny, I also believe it’s wrong to do the same to them. Two wrongs don’t make it right.
Either way, I congratulate you on your bravery, and I hope that in the end, everything will work themselves out for the better.
By standing up for the Constitution and the First Amendment, Jessica is standing up for your rights not to have someone else’s religion imposed on you. Don’t you get it?
You’re a retard. People in this country have their god given right to worship anyone anything they choose to and who are you to interfere with this. Man you’re going to hell. Hey at the end of the day I know it’s better to believe in something then nothing at all.. and here you are making yourself more of an outcast and a freak good luck with all that..
You’re not going to get anyone to agree with you if you approach them with cruelty. The best way to get them to listen to you is to treat them with respect and dignity, regardless of what your differences may be. I disagree with her as well, but I would NEVER talk to her that way! She’s a human being, who is entitled to her opinions. She is not a freak, and she is not an outcast.
Have a nice day.
And you’re a bigot, intolerant of anyone else’s beliefs or freedoms. By standing up for the Constitution and the First Amendment, Jessica is standing up for your rights not to have someone else’s religion imposed on you. Don’t you get it?
Get a life. Pick up a book and focus on your grades. You were unpopular, as you state in the first line so is this your way of getting some attention in life? You’re wasting everyone’s time because you and I know that banner has no affect on your daily life. I’m no religious zealot but would never waste so much time and energy trying to upset so many people with my selfish ways.
Go protest something that matters. Pointless wars, poverty, disease… get a life. Seriously, get one.
Cliff,
“Go protest something that matters. Pointless wars, poverty, disease… get a life. Seriously, get one.”
why are you wasting so much time and effort posting on the blog of someone you obviously dislike. Life’s too short for that. Let it go, move on, how is what this girl did having any influence on your daily life?
No one is interfering with her disbelief’s.
It is a government funded building. What part of “don’t spend tax dollars on religious things” do you not get?? That tax money isn’t ONLY belonging to Christians. Its not the fact that they are Christian and worship a God, its the fact that they’re spending tax dollars to do so, which is wrong. People can pray in the school until they’re blue in the face, but it has to be the INDIVIDUAL’S choice to do so, the school cannot mandate it or endorse ANY particular faith. They don’t put the Atheists creed on the wall of the school or paint a big pentagram (which I’m sure people would be spit screaming mad over) so they can’t paint a big cross or a prayer on the wall either.
I just learned your name today, Jessica, and am pleased to see such a bright light shine forth (geekery and all!). I only wish I had such strength of character at that age. You’ll catch a lot of hate for it (as a few commenters prove), but it only emphasizes the reason our nation’s Founders included the Establishment Clause in the first place.
I wish you good luck — go forth and be awesome~
-TTm
I just watched a video of a speech you gave to the Secular Student Alliance. I’m writing to let you know I admire your courage and intelligence. I know you are going to do great things in your life. I’m glad you found a community that supports you while you fight to uphold the U.S. constitution. You rock, Jessica!
Soldiers fight to uphold our nation’s values. Jessica isn’t fighting a worthy cause. To say she is fighting for anything for our nation is an insult to soldiers everywhere.
By standing up for the Constitution and the First Amendment, Jessica is standing up for your rights not to have someone else’s religion imposed on you. Don’t you get it?
Cliff, no one is relating to her as a soldier. But she IS fighting for our Constitution and the basic foundations of our nation! That would be like saying the people who fought for women’s sufferage didn’t do anything positive for our nation or those that fought to end separate but equal did nothing good. They may fight with words instead of guns, but that does NOT make their impact any less powerful. I suggest that you start trying to exhibit a little respect for others and stop living your life as if the world sprang up for your amusement alone.
I’d personally be most careful of making such a broad statement like this. One may find that a nation’s soldiers have been fighting for the ‘value’ of aluminium tubes. Or weapons of mass distraction. And were this the case – as indeed it has been documented – perhaps one should look for further guidance?
Forty or so years ago, my high school did the same thing. I didn’t have the courage you have. I let it slide, which was wrong. You stood up for your rights.
Congratulations.
Well done Jessica. You are the bright future for our nation. You will go far. Don’t let the bigots get you down! Illegitimi non carborundum!
You stood up for your rights LOL. What did that banner do her?
I’ll repeat my theory… as she states, she was a loser with no friends (OK I’m paraphrasing) who wanted attention…
Have fun with your Atheists friends because I’m sure you made 10 times the enemies you had before.
What a shame.
The banner was a usage of collective tax dollars and was endorsing a particular view of religion with said collective tax dollars. THAT is the problem Cliff. Government funded public buildings (i.e. PUBLIC SCHOOLS) that accept tax dollars to run them cannot endorse ANY religious practices. If they allowed the prayer to be put up, they would have to allow all individuals to put up some totem of their faith (OR lack thereof) on the walls of the building. Its like this: Either you allow everyone to have their stuff up or NO ONE gets to have their stuff up. But we all know if someone wanted to put a pentagram up or a meaningful Muslim passage that it would have been the end of the world for the Christian students/parents!!! Keep it at home, Cliff, no ones stopping you, but PLEASE refrain from spending OUR government money on things that endorse only one view of our society and people. Get over it, Christianity is NOT the only path of faith in this country and no matter how much you bully people, you are NEVER going to change their mind. So get over yourself and stop throwing your idiotic temper tantrums, you’re not oppressed or having your rights trampled on by people saying they don’t want to see it in public, government funded buildings that THEY are paying for too!
look at what you have done. You have stood up for everyone who doesn’t believe in the christian god. You are awesome. Some people may not understand that it takes courage to stand up against people in authority and tell them they are wrong. Maybe they should think that if it wasn’t illegal then you wouldn’t have had a case. Be proud of yourself, you did far better than most ever do.
and as for those who say “if it offends you, don’t look”, I wonder if they’d think the same if I took my large 37 year old fat backside into their place of business (as school IS your place of business) with their boss’s permission and stripped naked, proceeding do dance with my blubber and breasts wobbling all over the place… yeah, that’d be very wrong but hey, if it offends them they don’t have to look, right?
In all seriousness, those who try to bully you and your family are petty and don’t live up to the rules of their own religion… so really aren’t worth taking any notice of at all.
You have people all over the world (I’m in the UK) applauding what you did.
You did what was right, not what was easy. Well done.
The fact that you compare a banner in school to your sweaty body dancing around an office says it all.
Cliff, the fact that YOU don’t think religious bigotry is a problem worth fighting “says it all”.
How many soldiers died this year? How many Christmas trees got removed by bratty unpopular high school girls?
Yeah they’re both on the same level.
Whopps, sorry, prayer banner. Relax Atheists.
Cliff, please go and actually READ a history textbook about this nation’s history. You might find it enlightening to actually look at what the constitution says and the current interpretation that the legal system uses today.
Blake
Cliff, as a former soldier who was active duty in the Army during Desert Storm, I can tell you that her fight is an even greater challenge than what we soldiers have to deal with in many ways. She lacked the training, equipment, or squad members to help her in this fight. Yet she did as much to protect our constitution as any soldier by ensuring that it is not eroded and taken apart piece by piece. Agree with her or not, that is your right. But it is only your right because she, and those like her, have stood up to ensure you have it.
Well said!
Found this only now, and you’ll probably never read this reply… But, nonetheless, thank you, Johnway. That’s an eloquent statement of truth that Cliff and others like him find hard to appreciate.
It’s hard for me to understand how this is happening in the United States. And this isn’t even Texas we’re talking about, it’s Rhode Island.
I live in Washington state and I’ve never had to be scared to be an atheist. Atheists are commonplace here. There are still way too many churches but the idea of school prayers or religious talk in school board meetings is crazy to me. Even in my school choir or places where I knew I was the only atheist I was never made to feel uncomfortable about it.
Hi again! I just commented over at YouTube, and now I’m here, and… on top of all your activist awesomeness, I find out you’re a Doctor Who fan?!? =8oO
OK, now I think I’m actually in love. =:o> [DREAMY SIGH]
If was an evil man, I’d try to tempt you to move to the UK, where atheists are plentiful and no one will get in your face about it (well, *almost* no one). But I think America needs you right now, so… Good luck over there! =;o}
You know, here’s the funny thing. I’m not an atheist. I’m probably close, but I’m not one. I believe in things I haven’t seen, but mainly in things I’ve experienced. I could swear I’ve “seen” an angel, in a lucid dream (which I know, is easily explained away; I just don’t care to), but I’ve seen everything else, too.
My point here is that, no matter what I believe, I shouldn’t be able to force my beliefs on you. Or anyone else. I shouldn’t have HUGE ties to commercial businesses, government, and especially marriage. We should do what is right, and work together to make sure that EVERYONE is accepted. If you don’t want to believe what I believe, why is that such a huge deal? I don’t CARE! I believe it, and you believe what you believe. Who cares if someone is wrong in the end? If that’s the case, they made a choice to be wrong, and they did it willingly and happily. If there is a hell? Well guess what: probably full of people just like me. I’ll manage.
I’m glad you managed to shake up RI, Jessica. We don’t get enough attention here. I want gay marriage to be legalized, and it’s bad enough even trying to get a petition out, much less get ACTUAL results! Whether I agree with your beliefs spot on or not, I simply want to show here that, regardless of what ANYONE believes, they can be on equal footing, and show mutual respect. I don’t see anything about you “bringing down Christ” or anything like that. I see it as something like hanging a sign in a school that says “WHITES PREFERRED”. That’s singling people out, promoting a belief openly and without regard to viewers, and with no care about how its taken. And it would be ILLEGAL.
Why is religion any different?
Your points about having a community are excellent. One of the most important benefits that religion provides is a community. Atheism doesn’t have that, so atheists have less power. Without the community, it is harder to support others with your beliefs, it is harder to influence the community, and it is harder to help those in need.
I was fortunate enough to be born Jewish. By Jewish tradition, my skepticism does not impact my Judaism. Regardless of my personal views on god, even the Chassidic Jews will welcome me with open arms should I ask. I could show up at a synagogue anywhere in the US and be welcomed into the community. That’s special. (It’s also a much stronger bond than exists between Christians).
I don’t know how strong the community effect is on Christians. I’d suspect that it’s fairly significant. I think that for Unitarians, the community is the largest draw, and they are, I think, influenced by Christianity and have many members who grew up Christian. In some communities, however, they are probably the easiest way to find other atheists.
Do remember, the internet is immensely helpful for atheists stuck in extremely religious areas. Indeed, atheism is one of the larger subreddits. I think the internet has the potential to really encourage the formation of a good atheist community, although a good offline presence is essential. Hopefully, that would allow more people to accept their own beliefs, and have an effect on the community.
Hey Jessica,
Finding other teens with the courage you had will be difficult. Not everyone has the strength to stand up for what they think when it goes against the status quo. Humans are a hard species to change and they value being right above all else.
You’ll find that there will be huge challenges ahead with being an athiest, both personally and professionally. If you ever need some advice or an ear to vent into you’ve got my support, and the support of many others in the athiest community. Never be afraid to reach out and speak up.
Your friend in athiesm (and all things geeky),
Holly
Cliff, aside from the major amount of personal suckery you exude, your tired overly redundant arguememts and personal attacks lack any iota of logic or finesse, not to mention class.
In the future it would behoove you to form an opinion based on facts (those pesky things that prove stuff and win arguments) instead of regurgitating what the corporate financed media tells you is your opinion.
On a side note is anyone reading his comments in john ratzenberger’s voice? Lulz.
“I know that when you think of high school kids you usually shiver with disgust and want to smack them every time they open their mouths.”
You know wrong.
Keep up the good fight Jessica, I admire your courage. Prayer doesn’t belong in ANY government funded institution. Americans that don’t understand the concept should imagine forced calls to prayer facing Mecca throughout the day, forced recitation of Buddhist mantras during lunch, live animal sacrifices before every work meeting, and everyone must wear magic underwear while studying the great writings of L. Ron Hubbard before bed. Sound like fun? Neither is the constant exposure to Christian doctrine in a secular setting to nonbelievers.
People like Cliff are bullies, ignore them. They lack the wherewithal to see the big picture. If they want a theocracy there’s this great place called Iran worth visiting. Who would want to court attention just to receive death threats and ostracization? It would only make sense to accusers with faulty logic.
Thank you for changing the world into a better place Jessica Ahlquist!
Great work, Jess.
I was never indoctrinated with religious nonsense as a child so I guess I would have been considered an atheist if I thought about it, which I didn’t. Then I had multiple bad experiences with religious people and woke up to the malevolent effect of religion on the human family. Now I’m an antitheist.
First stop, Rhode Island, Jessica, then the world!
Stay strong.